Ah summer, the down-time we have all been waiting for. It seems like the doors to freedom have opened at last, and we leap through without a care in the world. That is until your inbox pings – the exam results are in, the unsuccessful university application bounces back, and the journal article falls through.
Rejection – we’ve all experienced it in some way during our lives. Usually linked with romance, rejection has found another home within academia and our careers. From the get-go, students get a taste of the bitter judgement that is ‘no’. Myself included. I have had unsuccessful scholarship attempts, summer school applications, and failed multiple exams causing me to change tactics and ultimately degree choices. At the time, all of these things sucked. Big time. But looking back, they may have been the best things to ever happen to me.
It can be difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when despair hits. Ways to handle and cope with rejection are also not taught in schools – leaving many of us downtrodden when reality hits. Here are some of the methods I have found over the years to ease the sting:
Another Path
As cheesy as it sounds, there is always another path. Something about many doors opening and closing.
In truth though, you don’t even have to change your goal – a famous quote that I like to live by is:
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, don’t adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.” ~Confucius
Being flexible and open to change will help when dealing with unexpected occurrences in life – including in the workplace.
Go With Your Flow
Another tidbit of advice is to “go with your flow”. You’ve probably been told countless times that going with the flow is passive & lazy, but when you start to think separate from the crowd – by following your own flow – you actually begin to see more opportunities springing up than you thought were possible.
Talk It Out
It can be scary to admit you failed, both to yourself and to other people. These types of conversations are never pretty, but they are necessary. Others help us to reflect on the positives – maybe you worked hard, and learned some valuable insights from the process alone. They can also give you that nudge you might be needing to try just that little bit harder, or go at it just that little bit longer. Either way – confiding in someone is always a good way of dealing with difficult emotions.
A year ago I thought I wouldn’t make it through my MSc – my first semester sucked, I failed a couple of exams, and I just wanted to go home. After getting out of a particularly terrible exam, I went ahead and watched this TED video. It helped me to see that everyone experiences rejection, even successful people. I went on to resit my exams, passed, and am now loving my MSc. If I can do it, so can you.
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